Apollo High School

Your mama’s glasses are so thick that when she looks on a world map she can see people waving.
Your mama's so dirty she has to creep up on the bathwater.
Your mama's breath is so nasty, when she burps her teeth have to duck.
Your mama’s so dumb, she went to a movie that said "under 18 not admitted," so she left to go get 17 of her friends.
Your mama is so dumb that she was on her way to the airport and saw a sign that said “airport left.” So she turned around and went home.
Your mama’s so fat, when the cops see her on a street corner they yell, “Hey you guys, break it up!”
Your mama so fat, when she goes to a stadium, she sits next to everybody!
Your mama’s so fat, when she ran away they had to use all four sides of the milk carton.
Your mama is so fat that when she asked, "Why is the grass always greener on the other side?" everyone replied, " 'Cause you aren't standing on it."
Your mama so stupid when you were born she saw the umbilical cord and said, "Hey, it comes with cable!"
Your mama so nasty, she took a bath and lost 40 pounds!
Your mama is so bald that when she takes a shower she gets brainwashed!
Your mama’s so dumb, she thought that the the International Dateline was a global dating service
Your mama’s so fat, when she stepped on the dog’s tail we had to change his name to Beaver.
Your mama so dumb, she failed a pregnancy test!
Your momma is so fat the photographer charged her for a family photo
Your mama's so déclassé, she has a time-share near Sea World!
Your mother's so lower middle-class, she thinks Egyptian cotton smells of camels!
Your mother makes such a weak latté, she’s easily confused with the help!
Your mother makes such a weak latte, she's easily confused with the help!
Your mother’s investment portfolio is so bearish, even her tax shelters stink of grizzly dung!
Your mama's so neurotic, she throws dinner parties for the voices in her head!
Your mama's so lacking in poise, she can't even play croquet in heels!
Your mama's so nouveau riche, she cleans her fingernails with lottery tickets!
Your mama's so hopelessly ordinary, if she were an automobile, she'd be a Honda.

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