CHALLENGER

Valentine Edition

My Dearest Elizabeth, Each day that we spend apart is like a premature death, and I wait to be revived by you're sweet nightingale call.

Now that is romantic. It sounds like the kind of start to a love letter that could have been written in the very far past. Let’s fast-forward a thousand years and translate this into modern language.

Hey Liz. Wassup baby? Not much here, sweet thang! You look real hot today. Blah blah blah...

I’d say that this, is if anything, more repulsive than romantic. What is the deal? Why have people started putting less thought into their love letters? It’s like it has become something people do only when they’re bored.

Love letters used to actually mean something, and show how a person truly felt.

I don’t really see the romance in “Hey gurl. How you doin’ baby?” Though I don't condone practices of pyromania, if my significant other wrote me a bunch of that junk, the first thought to cross my mind would be to pour gasoline on it, and put it on his front doorstep. Let’s refer to that old proverb “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all,” and apply it to our love letters. If you can’t write anything that sounds half-way decent, then just buy a nice gift. After all, it’s the thought that counts, so why not put some thought into something else…like an inflammable gift.