Is it me or does every holiday except Thanksgiving have a scary mascot? Before we start, turkeys are NOT scary, just misunderstood. Christmas has Santa and Rudolph, Easter has that adorably homicidal bunny, and Halloween, well, enough said. Who else is missing? The menace of Valentines Day: Cupid!

Cupid, without a doubt, is almost as scary as Santa Clause. He is always watching you and you can’t see him. He also decides who you fall in love with, and who falls in love with you. Why would you want someone else to dictate your feelings? Humans have enough problems doing that on their own.

Another thing: he is supposed to be a deliverer of love and yet he is armed with a bow and a quiver of arrows that never seem to run out. Making matters worse, his arrows’

tips are in the shape of a heart. Being shot with one of those things would hurt immensley. How would you like to be shot with a wide, heart shaped arrow in the name of love? Doesn’t sound very pleasant.

Why else is he scary? Well, just look at him! He is a fat baby with a freaky diaper. What is up with the diaper? Can he not go to a store and get some pants? He also goes shirtless! He can buy a shirt along with the pants. His wings are also four times smaller than his body, and yet he can fly at top speeds and never get tired. How is this possible?
It all may be that I just don’t like Cupid. “Love enters by the eyes and leaves by the eyes,” and I would like to keep it that way. I won’t allow some weird baby in a diaper that is armed with arrows to dictate my emotions! Love and arrows are an extremely bad mix.