Random

1. Constipated people don't give a crap!

2. Men are like pennies, two faced and worthless.

3. My mechanic told me, "I couldn't fix your brakes, so I made your horn louder."

4. Smile and the world will smile with you. Laugh and they'll all think you're on drugs.

5. Men should be like Kleenex, soft, strong, and disposable.

6. All trespassers will be shot on sight. All survivors will then be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. Have

a nice day!

7. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

8. If you can't fix it with duct tape, you haven't used enough.

9. I didn't lose my mind, I sold it on ebay!

10. Don't drink and drive, you might spill your beer.

11. I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down to us. Pigs treat us as equals.

12. Don't make me mad, for you are crunchy and taste good with katchup.

13. Hey! I stole that fair and square.

14. Make the stupid people shut-up.

15. 30 years from now, it won't matter what shoes you wore, how your hair looked, or the jeans you bought, what

will matter is what you learned and how you used it!!!

16. I shall call you squishy, and you shall be mine, and you shall be my squishy. Come here, Squishy, come here.

Bzzzt!! Oww, bad, Squishy, bad.

17. Heaven won't take me and Hell's afraid I'll take ova.

18. Mirrors don't talk and lucky for you they don't laugh.

Love

1. Love and spotlights can be cruel.

2. Love at first sight is possible, but it pays to take a second look.

3. Love is a smoke made with the fume of sighs.

4. Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke.

5. Love is blind--marriage is the eye-opener.

6. A compliment is like a kiss through a veil.

7. Love is friendship set on fire.

8. A man is not where he lives, but where he loves.

9. A man falls in love through his eyes, a woman through her ears.

10. A woman has got to love a bad man once or twice in her life to be thankful for a good one.

11. A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.

12. Love doesn't make the world go 'round. Love just makes the ride worthwhile.

13. Love is a game that two can play and both can win.

14. No guy is worth your tears, and when you find one that is, he won't make you cry.

15. I've said what I've needed to say, I've done what I've needed to do, now what ever happens to us, I guess I'll

leave it up to you.

16. You don't deserve me, I know it's true, but I want you so bad...what do I do?

17. Keep looking my way, my head is held high. You wanna bring me down? I dare you to try.

18. I know you think I'm cute, I know you think I'm fine, but like the rest of the guys, take a numder and wait in

line.

19. A lawful kiss is never worth a stolen one.

20. If you love somebody, set them free. If they return,they were always your. If they don't, they never were.

Sisters

1. A sister smiles when one tells one's stories-for she knows where the decoration has been added.

2. Who sees to it that my head stays the same size?

3. We are sisters. We will always be sisters. Our differences may never go away, but neither, for me, will our

song.

4. Write your sisters weak points in the sand and her strong points in stone.

5. A sister is one who reaches for your hand and touches your heart.

6. Having a sister is like having a best friend you can't get rid of. You know whatever you do, they'll still be there.

7. A sister is a little bit of childhood that can never be lost.

8. You are always in the heart-oh tucked so close there is no chance of escape-of your sister.

9. She takes my hand and leads me along paths I would have not dared explore alone.

Sad

1. I used to smile when I told people you were mine, but now I can't even smile and say your name at the same

time.

2. Goodbye means wanting to say so much and being able to say so little.

3. Everyday I miss the you that I used to know before I let you down, before you let me go.

4. Today I realized that teddy bears won't make everything all right and tears won't make the pain go away.

5. I'm not sad because the sky is blue, I'm not sad because I stepped in dog poo, I'm sad because your the best I

ever had, and...I gave up on you.

6. Did you know the sun shined today? To bad I was too sad to enjoy the sun. Okay, you've won, i give up now,

you were always right....Now will you come back?

7. Oh, just to kiss you one last time, oh, how cruel you treat my mind.

8. Pain is inflicted on those who have a heart.